Jehannum wrote:Illuminat3d0ne wrote:Jehannum wrote:can't be too serious about it if you survived to tell the tale ... twice
First time was jumping out in front of cars trying to get hit, second I got caught trying to hang myself late at night, wife heard me moving stuff around downstairs to get the rope hung and stopped me
Had to spend time in the hospital after the second attempt which fucking sucked
Its so obvious the shrinks there dont give two shits about you it's crazy
I will say I came out of both situations very happy they were not successful at the time, but that feeling goes away after time
married? damn I can't imagine what that kind of mental illness must be like (to still want to die)
reminds me of Sir Michael Caine's character in "Cocktail" I've had depression for about 30 years and honestly have never come close to suicide, so while I might be able to relate to some of that, I definitely can't relate to whatever it is that makes you feel that strongly about escaping your existence. Must be brutal.
It's the 24/7 pain that I've had for around 8 years now
It just gets so overwhelming at times and knowing that it will never get better and most likely will only get worse, takes a lot to fight through each day
All of that leads to crazy mental illness because I had to basically become a different person, not being able to do anything I used to love, not being able to run with my kid, not being able to throw your kid in the air when you see others doing it or small shit like that where you are so happy they are enjoying these things but at the same time absolutely breaking your heart
Having a kid is probably the only reasons I'm still around right now but at the same time it brings on a lot of the depression seeing how limited you are
It's like a war going on inside your head
One side wants to be here forever while the other is asking if it's worth it and how long you can fight through the pain