Short story.

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JonahsGrin93
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Short story.

Postby JonahsGrin93 » Tue Apr 08, 2014 5:45 pm

Hey everybody, I figured that I would provide some excitement for all of you that are looking to kill some time.
http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/i ... day-part-1
That is a link to a short story that I recently published for a small magazine. Cheers

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Luigi
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Postby Luigi » Wed Apr 09, 2014 5:06 am

Awesome. Unfortunately I dont have any free time to kill atm. Will come back and read later.
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Masato
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Postby Masato » Wed Apr 09, 2014 11:10 am

DUDE! I just read it, it is fantastic!

that says a lot because I really don't read much (have a short attention span) - thanks for writing in such short paragraphs, its the only way I could make it through, lol. Long paragraphs kill me :)

Very creepy, very cool and surreal. Took me back to my own teenage/first time love affairs, you describe it beautifully. FUCK Mr Ford for seeling the drawings and not giving the kid any money lol (or did I read that wrong?) Now I'm even more paranoid of crows lol

Also, what is 'peanut butter and fluff'?

Great work man, super cool little yarn. My only disappointment is that I didn't get to read about him bangin Pauline in exquisite detail lol.

I like to write in screen-play format, it is a lot of fun. Did you write this with the whole story planned out, or did it evolve naturally? Is it based on any true events?

thanks tons for sharing, that's what the New F7 Crew is all about.

Hope you keep writing dude!!

JonahsGrin93
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Postby JonahsGrin93 » Wed Apr 09, 2014 2:28 pm

Thank you guys, so much. I am glad you enjoyed it mas! I had a blast writing it, my only regret is that I didn't turn it into a novel. And yes I should have wrote a scene of them having sloppy passionate sex, but I figured it would be more heart wrenching if it didn't happen. Glad to be here amongst such talented people. Enjoying this board alot and I look forward to become more active

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Empty Emp
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Postby Empty Emp » Wed Apr 09, 2014 5:00 pm

I usually don't enjoy reading anything but comic books, but that was pretty good. You did a great job of creating imagery without being excessively detailed.


Masato wrote:Also, what is 'peanut butter and fluff'?


A.K.A. Fluffernutter

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JonahsGrin93
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Postby JonahsGrin93 » Wed Apr 09, 2014 7:26 pm

There is nothing like a peanut butter and fluff sandwhich. Thanks for the kind words empty, and thanks for the stomach rumblings as well. That picture is so fucking sexy!!!
Mas, if you have never had a pb and fluff sandwich then I implore you, go to your local supermarket, go down the pb& jelly aisle and buy some fluff.
Fluff is basically marshmallows whipped up to compliment peanut butter. In other words it is awesome.

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Canuckster
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Postby Canuckster » Wed Apr 09, 2014 9:18 pm

Masato wrote:DUDE! I just read it, it is fantastic!

that says a lot because I really don't read much (have a short attention span) - thanks for writing in such short paragraphs, its the only way I could make it through, lol. Long paragraphs kill me :)

Very creepy, very cool and surreal. Took me back to my own teenage/first time love affairs, you describe it beautifully. FUCK Mr Ford for seeling the drawings and not giving the kid any money lol (or did I read that wrong?) Now I'm even more paranoid of crows lol

Also, what is 'peanut butter and fluff'?

Great work man, super cool little yarn. My only disappointment is that I didn't get to read about him bangin Pauline in exquisite detail lol.

I like to write in screen-play format, it is a lot of fun. Did you write this with the whole story planned out, or did it evolve naturally? Is it based on any true events?

thanks tons for sharing, that's what the New F7 Crew is all about.

Hope you keep writing dude!!



you dont know what a fluffer nutter is?


peanut butter and marshmallow spread is probably the most delicious thing from my childhood......
People say they all want the truth, but when they are confronted with a truth that disagrees with them, they balk at it as if it were an unwanted zombie apocalypse come to destroy civilization.

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Edge Guerrero
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Postby Edge Guerrero » Thu Apr 10, 2014 10:28 am

- I've read , brings back the memories of the books i used to read.
Nice work.

That sanduiche looks delicious

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fungi
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Postby fungi » Tue Apr 22, 2014 10:15 am

TBH, when I started reading I immediately thought of "The Catcher in the Rye". The way the story starts...

Anywho, I ain't no story expert, but this was good. Very creative, imho.


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