How much do kids aged 9 and up need their mother?

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Masato
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Re: How much do kids aged 9 and up need their mother?

Postby Masato » Fri May 25, 2018 12:11 pm

Vutulaki wrote:
Canuckster wrote:
Vutulaki wrote:

Kids arent, the system here is such fucking bullshit and I can only imagine that in pussyville AKA Canada it's ten times worse.

They hide behind the "In the kids interests" line but just use it to push whatever agenda they have (normally pro mother)


That part of it isn't good, but fathers rights are starting to make a big pushback and be much more even handed here.



Yeah same here, its taken them 30 years and a number of bombings at the family court by dads but the penny is finally dropping that kids need dad just as much as mum.

I think these laws were made long ago when dads didnt have much to do with their kids upbringing, long days on the farm, going to war not being expected to etc but times have changed, even before I got custody I spent a LOT more quality time with the kids than their mother.


^^ lets hope you guys are right about a trend of more respect for fathers...

Of course I am biased here, but IMO my brother is way more stable and a 100x better parent than his ex, whom I think is quite crazyto be honest. He got right exiled when they broke up and his ex spun a hate-propaganda against him with the kids so he hasn't seen them in a super long time. The thought of his kids, especially the younger son being alone with their unemployed wacky feminist mom is downright scary.

He's got some court case coming where he can attempt some more normal visitation rights and schedules. We suspect the ex will spin lies to make him seem like a monster but hoping he can defend himself and the judge will be able to see through the bullshit.

Awful situations for everyone, kids should really be top priority although I think parents NEED to see their kids too. For 1 parent to take kids away from the other I don't think is right at all

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Postby Canuckster » Fri May 25, 2018 12:24 pm

You have to fight for it, if you expect the courts to be even handed regarding this if you just sit back and hope for the best, you won't get that, you have to get a decent lawyer and fight for what you want.

Women are unfortunately still handed the benefit of the doubt straight out of the gate, but if you don't bend over like a birch and can prove your case, you can get the courts to listen to you now, whereas before you were getting fucked regardless.
People say they all want the truth, but when they are confronted with a truth that disagrees with them, they balk at it as if it were an unwanted zombie apocalypse come to destroy civilization.

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Postby Shinkicker » Fri May 25, 2018 12:26 pm

Having a crazy mom is still better than no mom.

Regardless of what kind of parent you are if you try to keep your child away from the other parent, they will have resentment towards you. They see it as cruel. And any negative comments you make about the other parent, well... you might as well be saying it about them. Kids see themselves as part of mom and part of dad. So the negative applies to them, also. They may not be able to articulate that now, but they certainly feel it.

Kids of both genders need both parents. Sometimes mom more than dad. Sometimes dad more than mom.

Good on you, Vutu, for putting the kids' needs above your need for revenge. I'm impressed. Seriously. :)

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Postby Vutulaki » Fri May 25, 2018 12:42 pm

Nah I dont fuck around when it comes to my kids, I hate to use a cliche but they very well could be the one thing ive done right for the right reasons ever plus they didnt chose to have us so I owe them not the other way around.

I think the world would be better if men were allowed to beat their wives but not enough to leave a mark

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Postby Masato » Fri May 25, 2018 1:09 pm

Vutulaki wrote:I think the world would be better if men were allowed to beat their wives but not enough to leave a mark


can't say I agree with that (not sure how serious you are...)

Would it work the other way too for deadbeat dads? I saw an interesting video the other day with some Sharia dudes discussing how to treat their wives; 1. talk to them first nicely, 2. then abandon their bed, and 3. if those don't work you can hit her but don't leave a mark.

Maybe you'd be a good muslim, Vutu :D

Seriously though, I think for a kid to grow up witnessing violence among their parents is as destructive as any divorce or custody fuckups. What do they learn from it, how does it change the way they see the world/relationships/problem solving in their own lives? Trust? Love? how can they ever gain that back for themselves? How can they ever have healthy relations of their own? I think this kind of stuff (sexual abuse too) gets passed through generations, kids pick it up and model the behavior, then THEIR kids do the same etc. Only really wise kids can likely recognize and break the patterns

I've seen some crazy marriages but I think once either starts physical violence its pretty much hit the lowest point/unfixable.

I did wonder about Sharia step 2... they were talking like abandoning the bed (stop sleeping with them) usually works/gets them in line but I was thinking that if the wife doesn't like her husband/is mad at them/fears them... they would more likely to be HAPPY not to have them in their bed, no? lol 'thank god that smelly bastard is sleeping somewhere else! got the whole bed to myself!' lol

In the west we are sent to the doghouse when WE do wrong. In muslim-land the men do it to themselves when the WIFE is out of line

some crazy differences yo

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Postby Vutulaki » Fri May 25, 2018 2:02 pm

Ive also always wanted to beat another man badly in front of his wife, hog whip him with my own belt while she masterbates in the corner.

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Postby Masato » Fri May 25, 2018 2:04 pm

^ LOL

Actually come to think of it, if a parent is physically abusive at all I might sympathize with some decisions to limit visiting rights. Custody for sure.

Its scary when other people (ie; the state) has the power to dictate what families can or can't do, decide what happens and who gets to see their own kids etc. No government body can claim to understand the minds of parents or kids nor can claim the wisdom to decide all their fates.... fuck they'd nbe lucky enough to have their own lives in order. Most of me naturally despises such imposed authority, but now I can see how sometimes it can help.

Hard to draw the line exactly where it is effective/positive vs intrusive. Who really is best to judge the situation? Maybe is IS an outside party. My brother has been telling me how they have a whole program where they interview everyone together and individually to see if they can figure out the truth. His ex never showed up to them, nor did she bring the kids lol

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Postby Vutulaki » Fri May 25, 2018 2:21 pm

If I did a home invasion at your place surprised you and threw you to the ground in the kitchen in front of your wife and started belting you would you BJJ butt scoot? try and hook one of my ankles with your foot as im raining leather and steel studs down on you? Would you try a leg lock off your back???

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Postby Canuckster » Fri May 25, 2018 3:10 pm

People say they all want the truth, but when they are confronted with a truth that disagrees with them, they balk at it as if it were an unwanted zombie apocalypse come to destroy civilization.

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Postby Shinkicker » Fri May 25, 2018 3:28 pm

For fuck's sake, you are a special kind of weird.


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